NOT made in Taiwan

An American was working in Korea. While visiting Taiwan, he went shopping for authentic Taiwanese souvenirs to give as gifts to Korean friends. Many products in America have "made in Taiwan" labels, so this should be fairly easy, right?

At the first location he noticed a display of jewelry trinkets. These would have been perfect to buy inexpensively in large numbers. As the pile of selected items grew, he finally noticed that one of them, ironically, had a "made in Korea" label. So he began checking all of the items, in fact the entire display, and every single item had a "made in Korea" label.

So, even though America has a plethora of "made in Taiwan" products, finding any such products while actually in Taiwan proved surprisingly difficult. And importing Korean products into Korea via Taiwan seemed to violate the spirit of giving Taiwanese souvenirs as gifts. It ended up taking several days, in fact, to actually buy souvenirs purportedly made in Taiwan.

It tastes like coffee.

An American had an opportunity to do some work for a multinational group that included several Britons. At some point, one of the Britons offered him some tea, and it was probably the best cup of tea that he had ever had. Over the next few days, partly to build rapport and partly to get some more of that tea, he deliberately played up how delicious it was.

After a few days, he needed a colleague, another American, to bring over some items. To continue building rapport with the Britons, he now played up the tea to his colleague. "You have to try this," he said.

One of the Britons made a cup of tea for the second American. The second American, after tasting the tea, said what was seemingly the worst possible comment that maybe anyone can make about British tea. He said, "it tastes like coffee."

The Britons were extremely upset about this. Fortunately, though, the first American observed the nearby cup of coffee that his colleague had been drinking, mentioned it, and said, "you have to cleanse your palette."

The Britons, seemingly excited that actual coffee could be blamed for the offense, began shouting in unison, "cleanse your palette! Cleanse your palette!"

The second American then drank some water, followed by the British tea, and then offered a proper compliment. In short time, perhaps because of the opportunity to recover from such an incident, everyone established a very close working relationship.

"Use the time machine."

A city man is visiting a rural area and is short on cash. He asks one of the locals for directions to the nearest ATM, and the man tells him to use the "time machine" around the corner.

Surprised by the response, the visitor explains that he's not looking for some high-tech science fiction device, and then tries to explain what an ATM is.

Again, the local suggests that he use the "time machine" around the corner.

After several cycles of trying to better explain what he is looking for and each time receiving the same response, the visitor gives up out of frustration. With no better alternative, he follows the man's directions and proceeds around the corner. There he sees the TYME machine, the ATM he was asking for.

I love your blue eyes.

A man had been enjoying a few adult beverages at a holiday party. A woman caught his eye, and he began to flirt. After a few moments, he complimented her blue eyes.

Unfortunately, for this man, this well-endowed woman had brown eyes. She was wearing a blue sweater.

I didn't throw anything at your car, sir.

A carload of teenagers was riding through town on its way from their high school to their respective homes. Unbeknownst to the driver and front passenger, the right rear passenger was throwing M&Ms out of his window and deliberately towards the trailing vehicle.

Shortly after the car stopped at a traffic light, behind several other cars, a fairly large man suddenly appeared at the right rear window. Because the window was open enough to allow M&M's to be thrown out, it was also open enough for this man to reach both arms into the vehicle and grab the right rear passenger.

There was nothing anyone could do. The man was yelling about the right rear passenger throwing M&M's at his car. The right rear passenger was lying and saying, "I didn't throw anything at your car, sir." The other rear passengers were frozen in fear. And the driver was stuck behind other vehicles and with oncoming traffic in the other lane.

The only passenger who potentially had options was the front passenger, who was examining door lock and window options. Unfortunately, the man was very observant and watching the front passenger while gripping the right rear passenger.

Within moments, fortunately, the light turned green, the blocking vehicles moved forward, and the driver seized the opportunity to accelerate. The man had no choice but to disengage. And, fortunately, he either could not pursue or he chose not to. Either way, the right rear passenger continued to receive a verbal beating for the remainder of the journey, especially from the driver.

Talking dirty... and loudly...

For a short time, two men shared living accommodations. At night, both men typically spent their time talking telephonically with their respective wives.

One night, while one of the men was talking to his wife, he overheard his roommate and burst out laughing. Of course his wife wanted to know why, and so he began to explain.

Because of the size of the room, both men tended to talk quietly. Apparently, the one man's wife wanted him to talk dirty to her. And, apparently, she couldn't hear him well. And, so, out of frustration, the man said what she wanted to hear loud enough for her to hear it clearly. And, out of frustration, the man unfortunately forgot that he had a roommate... until he heard the laughter, anyway.

Now one man was explaining to his wife why he was laughing so hard, and the other was explaining to his wife why she could hear laughing in the background.

The Grandmaster's Queen

Have you ever played against a chess grandmaster?

There are events in which multiple players are lined up with their boards and the champion walks around and plays against all of them simultaneously. He moves to one board, makes his move, and then moves on to the next board.

There is a feeling of exhilaration when you seize the opportunity to take his queen. For a short time you think, "maybe I can actually win."

A few moves later you realize it was a trap.

A few minutes later you realize that the only pride available goes to whoever survives the longest against him.